


Gosudarstva Gabriel

by Pronkbaggins



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castles, Crack, Russian, bizarre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:54:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28207884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pronkbaggins/pseuds/Pronkbaggins
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Gosudarstva Gabriel

Suddenly there was a rumble outside. It sounded like the Earth was being ripped open by a toddler with an evil wizard’s hands. 

Dean glanced at Sam wordlessly, drew his gun, and headed outside with a grimace on his face. He opened the door cautiously to see buildings toppling over as a giant castle began to ascend from the ground, crushing everything in its path. People were spilling out of Gas N’ Sips and other buildings, screaming for their lives. 

“What the heck is this, Dean?” Sam yelled over the noise. 

“I don’t know” Dean said in some shock “but we have to check it out. Get in the car, I’m not going to let Baby get wrecked over this.”

They piled into the impala and drove off as fast as they could right as the motel got uprooted as well. 

“Damn, I had a nice Jager sitting in there” Dean sighed, looking back at the motel. 

“There’s a giant castle exploding out of the center of the Earth and you’re worried about a beer?” Sam questioned, raising his eyebrows. 

They finally out drove the castle, which was 500x bigger than even a giant would need. The dust settled and Dean and Sam stocked up on silver bullets, machetes, holy water, and anything else they would need. 

Up in front of the castle was a giant sign that read “DOBRI DYEN, IZVYENITYE, GDYE GOSUDARSTVA GABRIEL?”

“What does that even say?” Dean said, scratching his head. 

“Beats me” Sam said, cocking his head “but it appears to be Slavic.”

“Yeah whatever Data. I say we Swayze this stupid structure and get the hell out of dodge” Dean said, growing tired. 

“Dean! We don’t know if there are people in there” Sam said “it could be witchcraft.”

“Eh when have we ever been smart about anything?” Dean asked, heading into the castle cautiously and up to the heavy front door. 

The door read in Russian lettering “Durak.”

“I can’t read this garbage” Dean huffed. 

“I took a semester of Greek. Maybe I can figure it out” Sam said, trying but failing. 

Eventually the doors blew open and a billion people who were wearing a crest with Gabriel’s face came marching out to stupid music. 

“Surprise boys! How do you like my new Gosudarstva?” Gabriel’s voice boomed over the sky. 

“Gabriel?” Sam gasped, trying to move out of the way of all these random people who were trampling him and Dean. 

“Wow, you boys catch on fast! So whaddya say, want to stay in this Russian haven forever?” the voice said. 

“What did we ever do to you, you *****!” Dean went off. 

“Wow, Dean. You really make me want to explain myself to you! Well, I say you can only speak Russian from now on” Gabriel’s voice said.

“Я не даю корма !” Dean shouted, looking shocked at the words coming out of his mouth. He was suddenly dressed in a long trench coat with gloves and heavy boots. He had a animal skin hat on and was growing a mustache. 

“Make it stop, Gabriel” Sam said “Dean is perfectly capable of making himself look dumb as it is!”

“Что, черт возьми , Сэм !” Dean growled as he began to squat and kick out with a ‘hey! hey!’ occasionally. 

“Okay, I admit, that even burns my brain” Gabriel said, snapping his fingers so everything went back to normal “now remember boys, you’re always welcome in my Gosudarstva if you behave.”

“No--”

Sam elbowed Dean in the ribs to prevent him from saying anything to provoke Gabriel further.


End file.
